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THE BLOG
Real talk for the people who hold it all together.
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Career strategy, leadership skills, and the stuff nobody tells you about being the one everyone relies on.
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I Was Wrong About Meetings. Here Is the Post, Corrected.
In 2023 I published the advice everybody gives about meetings. Then I read the research. The brainstorm produces half the ideas, the slides do not matter, and the two levers that count are decided before anyone walks in.
4 days ago13 min read


The 4pm Problem
The most famous decision fatigue study is probably measuring something other than decision fatigue, and the theory underneath it did not survive replication. Here is what did, and the three questions worth asking at ten past four.
Sep 2916 min read


The Six Things I Am Not Allowed to Tell You About Imposter Syndrome
Six things about impostor syndrome that get repeated constantly, including by people who mean well, and including at various points by me. Here is what the evidence actually says instead, and the one intervention with real support behind it.
Sep 2216 min read


Feedback for a Difficult Boss: How to Say It So It Lands.
Every assistant has a sentence they have been carrying. The research on how managers receive what they are told says where to say it, what shape to give it and when, and what the extra asks are doing to you in the meantime. A landing test, a three-line script with a builder, an expectations ledger, and the line.
Sep 1923 min read


Try Describing Your Job Without Using Your Job Title
A task list is the inaccurate description of your job, not the modest one. Three of the four kinds of work you do go missing every time you describe yourself. Here is how to put them back.
Sep 1516 min read


Nobody Was Ever Promoted for a Risk Register
There is almost no peer-reviewed research showing that risk registers work. Not that the evidence is mixed. That there is barely any. Here is what the evidence does support, and what to run instead.
Sep 817 min read


The Part of Your Role AI Will Never Replace: What the Research Says Generative AI Changes in Assistant and Chief of Staff Work, and What It Leaves to You.
The meeting summary arrives at 6.02, accurate and missing the one thing that mattered. The research on generative AI at work covers which assistant and chief of staff tasks are exposed, who gained in the field experiments and where AI made people worse, how skills fade when a tool does them, when people trust a machine over a person, and the human work that remains, with a check that tells you whether to automate, augment or keep a piece of your work.
May 2242 min read


Boundaries That Stick: What Makes a Line Hold in a Close Working Partnership.
Most boundaries in this work do not break. They drift, one reasonable yes at a time, until the favour becomes the job. The research on role definitions, unwritten deals, job creep, assertiveness and consistency explains why the edges of a role sit in two heads, which negotiated deal quietly adds unpaid overtime, why dependable people are handed more and credited with less, and how to hold a line warmly and repair it when it slips.
Nov 24, 202541 min read


Leading Without the Title: What the Research Says About Moving Things When You Have No Authority.
Somebody without a title says the thing everyone has been circling, the room nods and moves on, and three weeks later a senior colleague says it and it happens. Influence without authority runs on rules most people have never been shown. The research on who a group follows, speaking up so it is heard, framing and timing an issue, persuasion with its real effect sizes, small wins and coalitions shows how people with no positional power move things.
May 19, 202542 min read


The Identity Paradox at Work: What the Research Says About Staying Yourself While You Grow.
A new executive, a bigger role or a restructure can ask you to change almost everything about how you work, and the question arrives on the train home: am I still me? The research on authenticity at work says feeling like yourself is partly a reading you can move, that adapting pays and also charges interest, and that the part of you that travels is your reasons rather than your methods. Here is what it found, and how to grow without losing yourself.
May 11, 202541 min read


The Hedgehog Dilemma at Work: How Close to Get to the Person You Support, and How to Find the Right Distance at Speed.
Close enough to know about the scan on Thursday, far enough to take the edge in the voice in front of six people. The research on the hedgehog dilemma at work covers why closeness and distance pull at once, what a workplace friendship gives and costs, what to share and when it backfires, the cheaper way to carry someone else's feelings, the rules for private information, and how trust forms at speed, with a check that reads where your three dials are set.
May 7, 202542 min read


Busy or Hiding: What the Research Says About Using Work to Avoid Feelings.
A demanding task really does lift a low mood, which is exactly why keeping busy makes such a comfortable hiding place. The research on avoidance, distraction, workaholism and busyness as a status symbol shows when stepping away from a feeling is wise, when it quietly costs you, and how to tell the difference, with a tool for the EA or Chief of Staff whose job rewards being endlessly useful.
Apr 14, 202545 min read


Venting at Work: What the Research Says About Getting It Off Your Chest, and When It Keeps You Stuck.
Have you got a minute is never a minute. The research on venting says letting off steam does not let it out, that going round in circles with a colleague brings closeness and keeps the stress going, and that the listener's response decides whether talking leads to recovery. Here is what that means for the EA or Chief of Staff who is so often the person people bring things to, with a tool to tell whether a conversation is moving or circling.
Mar 31, 202542 min read


Achilles at the Top Table: What the Research Says About Narcissistic and Hubristic Leaders, and Working Beside One.
Why confident people get chosen to lead, what the evidence says they do at the top, how power quietly changes almost anyone who holds it, and what the person in the seat beside them can do: getting hard facts heard, slowing the big decisions down, protecting the team and keeping their own footing. Research-led, fair to everyone involved, and never a diagnosis.
Mar 24, 202545 min read


Conformity Bias: How a Room Full of Reasonable People Reaches One Answer.
There is a particular silence about eleven minutes into a meeting. Somebody has made a proposal, two people have agreed, and you have a thought forming that does not match the room. In 2025 I wrote about the pull you feel in that moment. This one is about the machinery underneath it, because the interesting question is not why you stayed quiet; it is how a room full of reasonable people, several of whom privately had doubts, converged on one answer anyway.
Mar 17, 202569 min read


Reasoning or Rationalising: What the Research Says About Dissonance and the Decisions You Carry.
You argued against the decision at nine and by six you are drafting the announcement, with four good reasons for it. The research on cognitive dissonance, self-justification and motivated reasoning explains why carrying a decision changes your view of it, which classic studies held up when they were run again, and the checks and tools that help you tell reasoning from rationalising in your own head.
Mar 10, 202543 min read


Decoding Your Executive: What the Research Says About Reading the Person You Support.
Your executive walks past without a word and you rearrange the afternoon. The research on reading other people says confidence grows faster than accuracy, that you see how they come across better than they do while they know their inner state far better than you, that four-letter types describe people poorly, and that if-then patterns and asking beat guessing. Here is how to build an accurate, updatable picture of your executive, with a tool to check a belief.
Mar 3, 202543 min read


Politics, Played Well: What the Research Says About Influence, Informal Networks and Using Your Position Ethically.
The proposal everyone nodded through, then quietly died by the lifts. The research on office politics says it is common, rarely taught and costly to the people around it, that knowing who asks whom for advice is a source of influence in itself, and that the assistant at the hub can join people up or hold the gap. Here is how to read the informal organisation and use your position well, with a tool for mapping the next thing you want to move.
Feb 24, 202544 min read


Surviving and Thriving Through Change: What the Research Says About Loss, Uncertainty and the People Who Steady the Room.
The calendar invitation with no agenda, and three people at your desk by ten past five. The research on organisational change says uncertainty does much of the damage, that a change you support can still feel like a loss, that pushback is usually information, and that the load of change after change matters more than any single one. Here is what that means for the EA or Chief of Staff in the middle, translating and steadying, with a tool to read a change landing on your team.
Feb 17, 202548 min read


Trust Wins: What the Research Says About Micromanagement, Autonomy and the Space to Do Good Work.
The third message of the day asking where the board pack is. The research on close monitoring, autonomy and being trusted says checking by default costs more than it returns, that watching makes the watcher trust you less, and that handing over the reins can also go wrong. Here is what it means whether you are the one being checked on or the one doing the checking, with a tool to draft a reporting rhythm you can propose.
Feb 10, 202543 min read
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